9.5.15

D4

almost at the end of our 1 week daily blogging spree.

time really does go by fast when you're in your 20s.....

wifi isn't working at home so I have to settle for my iphone and 3g connection. 

edited my video for this week but can't upload it due to the previously mentioned unfortunate incident... NO WIFI.

so lets quickly talk about 'age' before i pass out into the sweet oblivion that is sleeping. 

i can't deny that growing older scares me. It really does. I do my best to not let it effect me but it creeps up on you occasionally... you know? I will be completely honest here and confess that when I turned 23 last year, I had a pathetically dramatic breakdown. I hid under the sheets the night before and cried myself to sleep. I even cancelled a dinner date I had just because I didn't feel like pretending to be okay with this change.
I couldn't. I wouldn't and I didn't.
 HAAHHAHALMAO ROFLWTF ?! 

I am seriously NOT kidding. I really don't know what triggered the flow of emotions. I was just so depressed and acknowledging it depressed me even more. Maybe it was because I didn't organise a party to celebrate like I usually did, so everything was dull and there was nothing to look forward to. 

Maybe. Maybe. 

Was it because I felt like I expected to have accomplished so much more by the time I turned 23? 

Maybe. Maybe.

No point, no use layering disappointment and pressure onto each other. 

Therefore, I am doing my best to handle my days, day by day. 

Breakdown and cry if you must, but shortly after you better pick up the pieces, get your sh*t together and deal with it like the boss you are.

i think that's a good enough blog for today which also makes up for yesterdays incompleteness. 

Good morning, goodnight.




X

[A]

ps. AHH!! i turn 24 in 5 months! AAAHHHH!! *breathe* *inward screaming* *breathe*

1 comment:

  1. We're constantly in this state of mind that the future is what matters. And we turn ourselves into these people who do things they love and loath simply because we believe that'd give us a better future. We stop caring about the right now. We stop trying to seize the moment, let alone treasure it. Hell if I am unemployed ten years later. Hell if you have no one to love you. Hell if I'll grow old and have man titties. Hell if we can't even see our future. This, right now, is what matters. Because we're living right in it. And if you're enjoying yourself then keep on fucking enjoy yourself. If you feel like shit then buckle the fuck up and start living the moment. Cause you know what, once this is gone it is gone for fucking good. We can wallow ourselves into thinking how shitty things might get. How fucking miserable if I grow a pair of old, wrinkly man titties on my chest. And that is the easiest way out. And obviously the least fun.

    At least that's what I'll tell myself into sleeping these days. The fuck do I know. And that's most likely a bad mentality to live by. But whatevs dude.

    P.S. her is one of my favourite movie lately and everyone I watch it again I feel something entirely new. I hope that doesn't make me gay.

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