nyc 2015

i don't have many pictures to put in this blog.
and it's been a few weeks since I've been back from nyc
so i don't quite remember what i did.
i really should have written this blog earlier.

we only had 5ish days to do what we had to do in nyc.
we had finally conquered being disgustingly jet lagged,
and my dad was still convinced he knew nyc like a local.
we proved him wrong.

he apparently had only ever travelled around the upper east + west side
and only used the same line of the subway.
dad thinks he's posh so i like to challenge him,
once we crossed the brooklyn bridge,
my dad could have been in vietnam for all i care
as he was a total
and complete stranger to everything.

(love you dad)

so we pretty much had to take them to most places,
time consuming but at least i didn't lose them.


my first impression of new york,
which lasted 2 whole days
is that
like it

It's dirty, dodgy & deceitful.

1. dirty = some streets, mainly subway stations absolutely NASTY.
2. dodgy = again mainly subways with their faulty ticket turnstiles
3. deceitful = i almost got kidnapped (more details below)

i don't know if it was because of living in hong kong,
or the countless american movies i've watch that caused me to
have such high hopes and standards for the city.
ps. you can tell a lot about a city by it's underground transport
which is why HK is the love of my life.

i missed the stench of chlorine and bleach,
i missed the constant reminder of sanitation around me.

maybe i was homesick too,
the deafening screams and screeches of the train made me uncomfortable.
cold and distant, i didn't feel anything positive the first few days of being in nyc.
never had i felt the expression 'dog eat dog world' more truly than here.

however, i did get over myself. (lol)
HK had basically just spoiled me rotten, 
with its benefits, sanitation and compulsory compassion.
nyc was the nitty gritty - grubby to say the least 
but i guess it was exactly the whole charm of the city.
so different and dirty yet so alive.
there was a pulse to the city that i don't feel in HK.
does HK even have a pulse?
in HK,
hopes and dreams are usually stifled then snuffed.
~if you want a dream 
you better follow the steps of this government issued leaflet. 
thank you for your co-operation~
but in NYC,
 despite the grubby coldness,
people still tried and did their own thing.

HK = limited
NYC = limitless

does that make sense... to anyone...?

ok now i'm just rabbling and trying to make myself sound poetic.
back to the blog.

This was our hotel just outside of williamsburg
not the most convenient but certainly one of the best service.
they were awesome.

then one day dad dragged us to the empire state building despite our disapproval.
we wanted to go to the one world trade centre but dad wanted to go down memory lane.
note: dad thought ticket prices were the same as 50-60 years ago and only $2 usd each.
he was strongly mistaken.
needless to say dad paid for the tickets.
thanks dad.
me, caro and my mum were a bit underwhelmed...
i mean, it's just buildings... like... we've seen buildings before
and to be honest, i find buildings way more interesting from the ground
than looking down on them from the 86th floor.
dad was happy though.

us young city folk not impressed with said view.

about previously mentioned attempted kidnaping:
we were outside barnes & nobles waiting for our requested uber,
when a severely beaten up black car pulls up to the pavement (sidewalk, if you must).
Me, being the naive-easily-kidnaped type of gal, walks up to said vehicle,
the driver inside then holds up a green, laminated, homemade 'UBER' sign to the window.
If i had a drop of street smarts, 
I obviously would have had alert signals going off in my head and told him to kindly
piss off.
However, I had no such smarts.
I was all prepared to trust in humanity and mother karma 
to not let anything bad happen to me while
optimistically hopping into this strange mans, wannabe Uber car.
my girlfriend supervises me in life when i cannot 
and yanked me back before i could make anymore life threatening decisions.

our actual uber eventually came and we got home safely.
life lesson:
always double check the license plate number,
see if they know your name
(cos they should if they have the app)
and see if they can confirm the destination you put in the app.


after complying and completing all of my parents shopping + directional needs,
we eventually had free time to just mindlessly wonder around ny.

☝ I met up with the most fab headpiece designer Gloria Yu
then as fate would have it, 
unexpectedly bumped into model friend from hk Ben Cimmerbeck 

one of the best parts was meeting up with my high school bff michelle
who(whom?) i hadn't seen in...4-5 years???

I mean, come onnnn
you can tell nothing but age has changed between us
when you still stand on the same side of each other when you take a picture!!!!!

all of the above made nyc feel a bit more like home :)


i did a lot of skincare product shopping as you would know
if you've watched my latest youtube video.
*hint hint*
i also bought things that were not skin product related which is the first part of the video,
so just watch the first half and close the window when
i start the horribly narrated beauty review.
i will be disappoint if you haven't at least tried to watch the first 3 minutes.

on our last proper day we went to central park
which was/is glorious and restored my faith in humanity and all that is good in the world.


so yeah,
that's it for the US blogs.
hope you've enjoyed reading them.
i know my story telling/writing methods are unorthodox,
but it's more fun that way.

i'll leave you with the X large version of my parents on a rock in central park
due to the fact my mums enthusiasm is priceless.




us trip 2015

let me get the first elephant in the room out of the way
before we start this long overdue blog - 
I have pink hair now.


then I had a birthday,
my 24th to be exact.

Then I got all hyped to go to Walt Disney World, Orlando Florida.
A lot of flying was involved and I thought it was going to be amazing.

It kinda wasn't.

I also thought I would have the time and energy to make daily vlogs - 
which I obviously did not.

I was travelling with my parents and my girlfriend,
yes I have a girlfriend, let's move on.
btw if this came as a shock to you,
i can't believe you didn't know already.
we've been together for like 6 years.
where the hell have you been
all this time man?

after 15 hours from HKG > Dallas, Texas
a 4 hour wait for our 3 hour  flight from Dallas > Florida,
we got to the hotel at about midnight on the 26th (my birthday, US time)
Despite the horrendous jet lag, I was prepared to venture on at 8AM.
I was mentally prepared but sadly, my travel companions were not.
With barely enough time to sleep and rest,
my parents and my girlfriend were so sleep deprived
they couldn't make it past 3pm. 
So we all headed back to the hotel and slept the day away,
like we would get up after a 6 hour nap and it'd be 9pm...
This also happened again the next day...

There are 4 main parks + Disney Springs 
(which is practically a shopping/dining/entertainment park of its own)
So 5 locations with only 3 days to complete.
Needless to say I was so stressed out.
I missed a lot of things ALL because of JET LAG.
I was soooo close to changing my flight guys...

My parents stay for the first 2 days then left to stay at a friends.
mum did this at disney and dad did that outside of disney 

So it was just me and caro for the last 3 days at Disney.
We did our very best to see as much as possible.

Day 1 was super sunny + sleep deprived

Day 3 Florida gave us rain

We both had the same breakfast for all 5 days.
There was a whole canteen, loads of choices but we are boring, boring people
who refuse change...

On one jet lagged night, 
when we couldn't even be bothered to walk after the 6 hour nap
and just ordered DISNEY PIZZA from our hotel room.

I was also so tired that on one ride
'Ellens Energy Adventure'
I fell asleep....
mind you, it was a 45 minute slow ride.
It was a glorious nap.

Here are some pictures on how awesome Disney was/is
despite how much more i have left to do...

I freaked out waaaay more 
when I spotted Mary Poppins 
more than seeing any other princess
I ran to her and the cast member said 
'Mary needs her break and will be back in 45 mins',
so I waited that whole 45 mins in the same spot
worth ittttttttt

I think the 2 things I loved most about WDW are:

1. They celebrate villains which HK does not (shame on HK disneyland)

2. The characters stay in character like there is no tomorrow.
just full on commitment.

at one point it got awkward
cos Ariel talked to us for a really long time,
just making conversation.
Asking Caro what her watch is, because Ariel doesn't know what a 'watch' is.
And that it might be broken so she could bring it to Scuttle to fix
cos he fixed her Dingle Hopper.
and I couldn't stay in character so I just laughed like a blithering idiot.

mary poppins asked me if i knew where burt was
and she said he was 'as bad as the children' but then said
she was sure that
i was a very well behaved girl ^_^

and you can't put anything past Cinderella cos
she complimented my hair saying pink was her favourite colour
and I was like 'hey wait isn't your favourite colour blue? like your dress?'
and she turned the tables on me,
she corrected me by saying this blue dress was by her fairy godmother and
that her original dress that she made herself was actually
I got owned.

Touche Cindy, touche. 

So that's that for my Disney blog.
I know I was going to make a Disney giveaway but I couldn't!

my friends 3 year old kid asked me to help him buy a Zurg figure
because HK does not celebrate villains therefore not available at HK disneyland.
I saw many Zurg figures but thought I had time so I didn't get one...
so I am now in HK empty handed...
I have told his mum to not tell him....
because I will go back next year......
(and you guys that giveaway)

please forgive me


next blog will be about New York.
we spent another 5 days there.
so lots more to tell you.




model rice bowl

-my rice bowl situation-

There's a saying in Chinese
'爭飯碗' / '搶飯碗'

Directly translated it means to 'fight for rice bowl' 
IRL situation translation:
rice bowl = job

my job interview struggles aren't the most common.
during my job interviews
unlike most,
I'm not getting judge on my education,
my qualifications,
my experience,
my certificates,
my expertise.

I'm getting judged based on my looks.

and of course I'm not complaining,
I knew what I signed on to entering this business.
I'm nobody important,
so what I can say or do is equally
Especially during my job interviews.

hang on, i need to stop calling them job interviews
as the official name is 'castings'

-attaining rice bowl percentage dwindling in front of me....-

too many mouths,
not enough bowls.

we're all pretty fucking hungry.

similar to actors who go on auditions but i feel models get it worse.
i think it's way more superficial than acting auditions.
because unless it's a casting for a TVC (TV commercial)
we don't really need to act.

and even when we do, the acting is so over the top.
it's pretend to enjoy this burger
pretend to ride this roller coaster which is a casting chair.

so there really isn't much skill to it...
as long as you're willing to put yourself out there,
you'll survive the traumatising, embarrassing TVC casting.
if they don't like your face you won't get it,
but hey, 
at least someone
watched your tape and had a good laugh at how AWFUL your pretend eating was.

we have zero qualifications for what we do.
there is no degree in posing.
no certificate for smiling.

we get judged based on our smiles,
our posing,
our skin,
our height,
our DNA.

in a way,
i think that when i don't book a job,
my parents/ancestors may be feeling the blame.
'It's okay, you'll book the next one.'
'We still love you.'

no matter how many episodes of ANTM you've watched,
I honestly believe 
that personality plays a very minor role in castings.
come on,
how much personality can you share in 5 minutes 
without coming across overly confident, conceited and mildly self centred? 
"ME! ME! Talk to me, see how easy going I am!!!!
Book me! Book me! I'm all personality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If they like what they see,
if they approve of your DNA
you get the job, the campaign, the tvc, the money.

If they don't,
maybe next time.

but probably not at the same company,
at least
until they've changed whoever is in charge.
until you've become moderately famous.

if you're lucky,
maybe all you have to do is dye your hair.

Smile for that bowl, baby.


write something | image

if you've watched my video
'My Vision Board'

you'll know that I've made a pact with myself to be more creative
to write more
to DO more.

I think I may be watching too many Casey Neistat vlogs...

today/night i want to talk about self image.
i don't think i'm going to come to any sort of conclusion at the end of this post
but i just really want to write something.

like most people i think i'm pretty self conscious.
and it differs depending on the situation.

sometimes i can not give a f*ck about any image
but then sometimes i need to comb my hair, take of my glasses and slab some eyebrows on
before i head downstairs to the supermarket.

i remember when i had a crush and we would skype
and before i was ready to turn on my camera to chat
i would whip out my hair straightener, fix my fringe, adjust proper desktop lighting
to hopefully give my makeup less, sleep less teenage complexion a fighting chance.

even for youtube videos,
before i hit record i contemplate 

usually, i can't.

so what the hell am i talking about?
i think i'm trying to say is that
i have days when i don't feel like i look my best
like right now

but i embrace days like this.
not giving a rats asssssss.

feels good to be all mucky,

a comb? whats that?
wash my face? why?
dark circles? never looked better.

it's like if i ever got a text from someone asking

' hey baby, what you doing? ;) '

i think it would go down something like this:

nothing much, 
just chilling at home, updating my blog.

cool. i'm good. what you wearing? ;)

my lazy homer shirt, boxers. 
glasses too and i haven't washed my hair in awhile lol

oh... um... okay... 


then um, what are you not wearing? ;)
you mean a bra? yeah fuck that thing.
best part of being home is that i don't have to wear one.
do you know how uncomfortable they are?
so jealous of guys with man boobies 
cos they don't need the extra support of a bra.
if you ever come across a bra,
i highly suggest you try one on sometime.

- user is offline -


this blog got weird too fast too soon.



An hour or maybe two passed. 

After dropping many hints to Jennah that she was overstaying her welcome, Jennah finally bid her farewells. 

It wasn't that she didn't like Jennah. Jennah can be great fun. There are just some people in the world that she would prefer to implement a 'less is more' quality control during meet ups.

There was always a limit to how much she could withstand when it came to friends and the relationship that comes with it. Every now and again she would look back at how much her priorities have changed since she was younger. Friendship used to be number one, even above family. Not the least bit shocking as most self loathing teenagers probably felt the same way.

But not anymore. That self loathing teenager has since rejoiced at her freedom away from her old classroom and those mandatory friendships required to complete group projects with.

She felt that she had grown into a society-approved, government-tolerated, seemingly well rounded, emotionally healthy (stable), functioning adult that was completely okay with being by herself.

One is a good number.

Yes yes yes, friendship is great in small doses. Lovely, fragile glass tubes of rainbow coloured butterflies and glitter on a good day. 

Too much of it then it's all over the brim, spilling onto your hands and splattering onto your favourite shirt. All the while having to reassure the rainbow coloured butterfly that it's okay, you never liked the shirt anyway and you'd love to meet up next Tuesday for dinner. 


chapter seven

chapter six

chapter five

chapter four
chapter three
chapter two

chapter one



I've often wondered why the internet took so long to come up
with an official name for taking pictures of yourself.

^selfie above was taken in....2005? 2006? 2007?
ah, simpler times.

I'm all for selfies.

I don't mind a bad quality, bad angled, bad filtered selfie.
we grow and we learn how to improve the image we want the world to see us in.
but if you're still taking awfully structured selfies in your 20s,
you need to check yourself.

I love going through my old pictures,
it's like a time capsule.
!!! a selfie evolution !!!
you get to see how your style has changed over the years.
it's hilarious at how cringe worthy your old poses used to be
and that you should sigh out a breathe of relief to know that
you don't do those poses anymore.

I sometimes get fooled by myself...
In my younger selfie days,
I was yet familiar with the concept of makeup
and there lack of...
I compensated my poor lighting and complexion
with a crap load of photoshop.

no shame admitting it now... that i'm 23....

duplicate layer? lasso tool? gaussian blur? soft light?
I could photoshop my selfies with my eyes closed.

I don't think I wanted the approval of the anonymous,
I think I wanted the approval of myself.
That I wanted to be/look like someone I would accept.
 I still needed time to grow into my own skin.

makeup by the best Moe @ https://instagram.com/moe__lo

I don't photoshop anymore,
cos I leave it to the pros on shoots.
poor souls who have to endure photoshopping my unfit, untoned body.
sorry :D

I just pick good lighting and a good filter.
I don't make exaggerated faces unless the makeup on me is dramatic.

I don't shame anyone who chooses to take pictures of themselves,
just make it good.
like everything in life,
put some effort into it,
make it something you're not ashamed of.


side note,
i've decided not to 'share' or update my social platforms when i type a new blog.
no point forcing my blog down people's throats when they cbf to read it...
or judge how they dislike the way i format my blogs.

yes sometimes i don't want to capitalise or punctuate correctly,
this is my blog and i'll format whatever the f* I wAnt In IT.

so hello to you :)
if you still regularily check my blog
or if you check on me once in awhile
without me informing.
a double chinned smiley for you!