one, forever.

so as always,
things happen
which mess with my priorities.

i haven't updated my youtube channel
as much as I hoped nor have i
updated my blog as much as i hoped.

which sucks
i know.

it eats at me everyday while i do other things.
trying to maintain active in social media
is easy but also a struggle at the same time.

i'm not quite sure how to explain it.

my current habitat messes with my priorities.
so many different opportunities and experiences,
i'm greedy.

i want to experience it all.
and i wont settle for one.
just the thought of choosing only one path for my future
terrifies me.

the young me and old me inside me
screaming out for me to make good choices.

how can one just be a realtor for ever?
how can one just be a photographer for ever?
how can one just be journalist for ever?
how can one just be a teacher for ever?
how can one just dog walker for ever?
how can one just be an assistant for ever?
how can one just be a cafe shop owner for ever?
how can one just be a manager for ever?

forever might not be forever, i know.
but anything over 6 months qualifies as forever in my books.

why can't i try everything?
dabble in everything.

i like this and that too.
why do i have to choose just one?
just be one.

why are there only 24 hours in a day,
why must i be in a position from 9-5/6pm with 1hr lunch,
5 working days in a week and 2 days of a weekend?

you're considered one of the lucky ones
if you know what you want to do with your life.
you're certain, positive of that one role
you can be
day in & day out.
you love your job.
your one and only role
your one and only source 
for income.
lucky you.

i want to do this, i want to do that.
can i make money from this and money from that??
i don't need a lot but my bills say i do.

my priorities are already messed up,
nothing will be fixed by the time i wake up.
I'll deal with it tomorrow.

at least for now,
i've updated my blog.