model rice bowl

-my rice bowl situation-

There's a saying in Chinese
'爭飯碗' / '搶飯碗'

Directly translated it means to 'fight for rice bowl' 
IRL situation translation:
rice bowl = job

my job interview struggles aren't the most common.
during my job interviews
unlike most,
I'm not getting judge on my education,
my qualifications,
my experience,
my certificates,
my expertise.

I'm getting judged based on my looks.

and of course I'm not complaining,
I knew what I signed on to entering this business.
I'm nobody important,
so what I can say or do is equally
Especially during my job interviews.

hang on, i need to stop calling them job interviews
as the official name is 'castings'

-attaining rice bowl percentage dwindling in front of me....-

too many mouths,
not enough bowls.

we're all pretty fucking hungry.

similar to actors who go on auditions but i feel models get it worse.
i think it's way more superficial than acting auditions.
because unless it's a casting for a TVC (TV commercial)
we don't really need to act.

and even when we do, the acting is so over the top.
it's pretend to enjoy this burger
pretend to ride this roller coaster which is a casting chair.

so there really isn't much skill to it...
as long as you're willing to put yourself out there,
you'll survive the traumatising, embarrassing TVC casting.
if they don't like your face you won't get it,
but hey, 
at least someone
watched your tape and had a good laugh at how AWFUL your pretend eating was.

we have zero qualifications for what we do.
there is no degree in posing.
no certificate for smiling.

we get judged based on our smiles,
our posing,
our skin,
our height,
our DNA.

in a way,
i think that when i don't book a job,
my parents/ancestors may be feeling the blame.
'It's okay, you'll book the next one.'
'We still love you.'

no matter how many episodes of ANTM you've watched,
I honestly believe 
that personality plays a very minor role in castings.
come on,
how much personality can you share in 5 minutes 
without coming across overly confident, conceited and mildly self centred? 
"ME! ME! Talk to me, see how easy going I am!!!!
Book me! Book me! I'm all personality!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

If they like what they see,
if they approve of your DNA
you get the job, the campaign, the tvc, the money.

If they don't,
maybe next time.

but probably not at the same company,
at least
until they've changed whoever is in charge.
until you've become moderately famous.

if you're lucky,
maybe all you have to do is dye your hair.

Smile for that bowl, baby.