3.4.20

tik tik boom

I've been getting tags and dms daily about the whole Douyin app banning Cantonese. From people who don't follow me, who drag me online and who don't really care about my opinion at all. It is obvious that they just send it to me as a 'told you so'. I've had many emotions flood my body whilst on this online roller coaster. And many times have I wanted to reply to each one individually but what's the point in giving them that satisfaction?

Here's my analysis of the situation.

1. Douyin and Tik Tok despite being under the same Chinese company, are very much handled by two very different teams. For example - If you're outside of China, you cannot find Douyin on the app store, and vice versa for Tik Tok, people in China cannot find Tik Tok.

- Douyin being patriotically Chinese (with mass Beijing party propaganda being pumped through the platform etc.), Douyin is connected with TaoBoa/TMall, you can host live shows, and sell things via live shows. Without a doubt, Douyin is Beijing's social puppet.

- Douyin has ... I'm assuming, almost zero control on how it runs the app.

- Douyin and Tik Tok have access to your data - so many apps collect data from your phone, your computer, websites you visit. It doesn't bother me. If this is something that bothers you, you don't have to have those apps.

- Douyin bans Cantonese to promote Mandarin? My opinion? I don't use Douyin. It's China's app, they can do what they want. I'm more so surprised why so many Hong Kongers were surprised that Douyin banned the language.

- Tik Tok does not ban language.

- Trends are vastly different from what is shown on Tik Tok. What may be trending on Douyin, does not trend on Tik Tok. And I believe that you can't find Douyin users on Tik Tok, and once again, vice versa. Which just enforces the fact they the apps are quite detached from one another.

- Tik Tok on the other hand, yes - has fucked up. With the concentration camps, with the lgbt issues, with body types, with disabilities etc. I've heard all of those anti-tiktokers repeat the same concerns to me. But what they fail to mention, is how Tik Tok handles these issues. The girl got her video about the uyghur camps reuploaded, Tik Tok apologised, the girl didn't accept their apology - and that is fine. With the other issues, all mostly occurred in mid 2019, and I've honestly, not heard of any problems since. I'm an avid Tik Tok user at the moment, I'd like to blame social distancing for this, and if you don't even use the app, how do you know what's being shown and what's not? My 'For You' page is filled with hilarious, insightful LGBT content and content from people with different background/ethnicities. Even - more shockingly for non-TikTok users - political content! My god, when the whole Lizzo video being removed and it caught on in Hong Kong small news outlets, the @'s were flooding me, dragging me again in their 'I told you soooo' campaign. However, they then failed to @ me again, when Tik Tok once again apologised to Lizzo and reinstated her video. Lizzo is also still very much active on the app.

2. I'd say for the meantime, TikTok is much more liberal that Douyin. I've also read articles that mention TikTok might eventually go solo, detaching themselves from the Chinese based company. I believe they have a big enough audience to make the move. And since Tik Tok has become so popular in American households, the US authorities have also started to closely monitor the app when it comes to internal security flaws. With that being said, I am more willing to use and trust the app when so many influential, reputable figures are active users. As this means TikTok is under the public eye daily, and could suffer serious PR problems if they made the wrong move. Unlike, Douyin.


3. Social Justice Warriors - Hong Kong version.

- since 2014, and more so 2019 was the growth spur, the mating season of Hong Kong's very own Social Justice Warriors. I was so proud of Hong Kongers who were finally speaking their mind, and standing up for what they believed in. For years, I had been talking about this but nothing had come to fruition. Little did I know, how extreme things would have gotten. So many, I'd say close to the majority of Hong Kongers are now extreme lefts when it comes to politics and socialism. And since many were pretty much thrown into the madness and chaos that was the political unrest of 2019, none had the time to mentally prepare themselves for the radical hard swing to the left. Attacking anyone who did not agree with them, ignoring their genuine good intentions. Waking up, bloodthirsty to start their day judging, separating and disowning people with a different opinion.

- so i get it. you've finally latched onto something real, something that makes your blood boil. you believe in your foundation, your goals. you feel united, you feel strong. so with every probe, whether it be from both rational and irrational neutralists or from the opposing side, you feel attacked, you feel offended, you feel the need to protect your ground and uphold your beliefs with every fibre of your being. many might not have had such a strong feeling towards something before, therefore this feeling that they have now is precious and sacred. you've chosen which side to fight on, you're armed and ready for someone to yell 'charge!', and in my opinion, many are blinded by this, and it has internally rotted into full blown hatred and prejudice.

- therefore this is my take on why many Hong Kongers hate on local Tik Tok users. They use reasons such as 'human rights', and 'freedom of speech' to start their argument. they'll go onto ask "why would you use such an app that limits and controls such basic human decency? if you do use this app, you support it, and you are against human rights. end of." well, first of all, the argument should be split into two, as yes i agree with Douyin being a shit app, end of discussion but I must disagree with you on Tik Tok (first because of everything above and then with the below)

- Still not happy? Okay. Let's now detach the conversation from this app from your reasoning. You want to start talking about human rights? Did you ever care about these things before? Did 2019 finally wake you up to the injustice in the world, and you are now 'woke af'? Human rights cover so many things. Wanna talk about that cute shirt on your back that you got for a discount and how the company behind it probably doesn't pay their workers and keeps their workers under harsh, inhumane working conditions? Wanna talk about the illegal child labor that goes on behind doors? You wanna talk about how Russia is anti-lgbt to near death but you think it's cool to visit the country, but wouldn't supporting its tourism be ignoring their ridiculous laws? You wanna talk about how HK handles transgender issues? The list goes on and on.

4. I'm not invalidating anyones beliefs. I just want to bring up my frustrations and where my mind has been revolving this whole topic. Cancelling people who may not agree with everything you believe in eliminates any kind of progression, discussion, reasoning and acceptance. The world, the society we live in is far from perfect. We do little things to maybe make the world around us a better place. Eat less meat, support free-range farms, boycott animal tourism, avoid fast fashion, recycle, background check companies you support, donate, volunteer, support, be kind to one another.


*i'll most likely update this post from time to time.

if you got this far, whether you agree with me or not thank you.

28.8.18

moving on/stages of




和你再多的銘記
抱憾未能再飛
相擁不再美

曾經想當個好情人
舍身成仁
還愛你愛到往下沉

當愛著你 失去自己
誰人話愛也要一種運氣
若要犧牲 方能擁吻

無法一起再同渡半生
明知愛也要走
留低卻更荒謬

就算我對你還著緊
亦無耐性陪你
浪費多十秒傷心

明白我決意走 把你傷透
從此刻 各有路要走

揮別錯的才能和對的相逢
妳說妳不怕分手 

只有點遺憾難過

自私的給我自由 回憶已足夠

也許我們都忽略 
互相傷害之外的感覺
.
.
.

如果你決定跟隨感覺 
為愛勇敢一次 

只要你也一樣的肯定
我願意天涯海角都隨你去

我知道一切不容易

如果你說我們有彼此

♥︎

6.3.18

excess baggage


/

i was in the process of another blog when i hit 
writers block just four measly sentences in.

i looked around my room.
by the way, 
that's all i have at the moment -
a room.

a room i am very grateful for.
i've been feeling like such a nomad these couple of years,
always looking for somewhere new to put my stuff....
temporarily.

during that big step in my life when i called it quits to 8 years,
i realised how much stuff i had accumulated.
it was quite a significant amount.

polaroid pictures took up space, clothes took up space,
random bits and pieces took up space,
childhood/teenage memorabilia 
that i brought into adulthood took up even more space.
ancient past, old past, new past cramming into my present.

when moving out of my childhood home in kam tin, 
i already threw away so much of the stuff
i thought i'd keep forever.

when i was preparing to leave the UK 
(again)
(for the second time in my life)
(wtf is this pattern)
i already threw away so much of the stuff
i thought i'd keep forever.

i put all the stuff i wanted to come back to in a closet,
everything else left in my drawers,
i grabbed a big black bin bag and threw everything in.
i could buy those leggings again some other time.
and seriously though,
 how many notebooks does one person need?

3 suitcases, 2 backpacks later
i was at gatwick and 25kg over the baggage weight limit.
i was fucked.

the lovely staff asked me what i wanted to do,
and at that moment i knew i had to do it again. 
throw away so much of the stuff
i thought i'd keep forever.

my first pair of dr. martens i bought at 16 
that my dad thought were leather but were in fact latex 
yet he still polished them anyway so they lost their shine
which suited me just fine - i actually liked them more that way.

my favourite military green menswear sweater,
sweatshirts, even the ones we had printed together,
maybe 2?3 pairs? of vans that i hardly ever wore too.
there were more, not just clothing that i had to reevaluate.
and to be honest, 
looking back 
i don't even remember most of the stuff that i packed
but i scooped them all up as one big human claw,
and chucked them all into the airport bin.

why did i choose to take those items with me in the first place?
it was a case of 'would you rather' and only up until the moment
when you had someone pointing a gun to your head,
or more so the question of
"are you willing to pay £2000 for all your excess baggage?"
do you finally force yourself to dig deep into your head, heart
and in this case, your luggage
to realise that it really was what it was -
excess baggage.

after repeatedly telling every staff member i met that
'i just want to go home' 
i was finally on the plane,
head, heart and suitcase all significantly lighter.

now i'm here.
4 months later.

i looked around my room.
and goddamnit,
where the fuck did all this new stuff come from?

i already threw away so much of the stuff
i thought i'd keep forever.

.
.
.



/

this blog reminds me of my forever ongoing short story


"There was not much left of her possessions or her belongings. 
Not much to posses and not much to belong to."





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