Vague Assignment Topics And Bullshitting That Comes With

I haven't been able to think creatively recently. 
Uni work is no fun, and it sucks your soul dry.

So I thought why don't I just blog some of the shit 
I've been handing in as assignments. 
We had a class called "Humanity & Knowledge". 
Vague subject? 
The learnings were equally vague. 
Not to mention we got assigned some random, 
elaborate topics each time to write about.

Maybe you'll like my writing,
Maybe you'll like what I write about.
Or you may relate to me.

Shut up and read.


What is a person?

David L. Anderson defines person as a moral category as “any entity that has the moral right of self determination.” In other words, to have the freedom to decide anything that might concern one. A person is an individual who seeks belonging and to attach themselves to others. Whether it is to join a club, to fall in love or to be committed to his/her family. To be alone, to be with just a few or surrounded by others is also what a person has the right to choose. On the other hand, a person has consciousness and in some cases intelligence. Of course, intelligence comes in different forms. Just because you are unable to finish a mathematical equation doesn’t establish how intelligent you are. To have consciousness which means to have the fact of awareness by the mind of itself and the world surrounding you. Thereby, understanding and realizing the actions you the person may be creating or inflicting onto others. All those factors aside, freedom is fundamentally the birth right bestowed onto us. So I’d like to start by going back to the roots of how every person develops differently and what impact it has on every growing person.

I am twenty‐one years old and have gone through more than enough teenage angst to last me more than a few more decades. I suppose every person starts developing his or her dreams, personalities and duties during their days of high school. That first day of school, fresh out of primary school and you’re now playing in the big boy world. Where everyone seems bigger, taller and maturer than what you're usually accustomed to. That sense of wanting to belong to a group so you don’t have to be the loner who sits alone at lunch or hides in the toilet has never been stronger. I am an only child, so I was used to being left to my own devices and imagination to keep me company. I was perfectly fine by myself until I had to grow up. I hated the popular kids so I chose to hang out with the nerdy‐er group of girls. I would tell on the popular kids to the teachers wishing they’d get in trouble but they never did. I was already stuck with a western background and having very little in common with everyone else who were brought up Chinese, being the only ‘gwai mui’ in the whole entire school was not my only problem fitting in. What made it worse was that I was no longer satisfied with being goody‐ goody with the group I was spending time with and suddenly the life of the popular kids had become tantalisingly appealing. Annoyingly, they always seemed to have more fun, everyone knew them and even the teachers liked them because they participated with everything and anything. Being a rat was getting me no where, and I hated sneaking around being a complete hypocrite. Eventually, I found my place in school. Belonging to something never bothered me until I step foot into high school, there was so much pressure on finding friends because you didn’t want to do a school project with someone you didn’t like. And that was a huge problem for any twelve year old.

Puberty's combination of hormones and testosterone in you and everyone around you just makes belonging so much harder. Boyfriends, girlfriends and peer pressure strikes you like lightening. You hardly have time to discover yourself and you already have to deal with other people. Some people smoked and some thought it was a habit so cool to look at. Some girls’ start cutting them selves like some right of passage that many would go home and try so that they had something in common to talk about the next day. At that very moment, when everything starts snowballing, a person has to make the decision whether or not they should be influenced by the happenings around them. This is where freedom of choice defines a person on who they are and what they will become. Many start out as good, respectful kids, who only picked up smoking as a rebellion act but to some the smoke not only contaminated their lungs but also blurred their vision on life. That road only lead to destruction if they blindly follow others but it would be a decision they chose.

A person must at least figure out what is best for them and what they are doing wrong or right. That self‐awareness and consciousness requires guidance and the person must maintain a state of self‐control. A person should not slack and wait for things to happen. When a big decision is to be made about his/her life, they must make it themselves and not let anyone else make it for them. For example, when I was studying in England, it was my life long dream to study abroad and finally be accepted. I felt like I must have missed out on so much growing up without a western community around me. Oh, how mistaken I was. Yes, it was true I missed out but I missed out on the culture of teenagers. The drinking was terrifying. I always hated the smell of alcohol and here they were drinking in and out of class, and every weekend. Was there nothing better to do with life but to drink till you forget about life completely? The first few months I amused them by participating in group outings to pubs and clubs. It took the toll on me near the end of the semester. I started to refuse to hang out because I had enough and my liver needed a break. They didn’t understand me, they made fun of what a lightweight I was and I was just so "Asian". Bam. I suddenly was the Asian in the group. No longer the western outsider, but the foreigner in, what should supposedly have been, my own culture. I started to skip classes and miss deadlines. How could I work in a group when everyone despised me? It took a lot of courage to walk in couple weeks later to face them. I found a classmate who never hung out with the group I used to be with and found a confidant. Sadly, this friendship did not last long as I made the hard decision to tell me parents I did not fit in and chose to return to Hong Kong to pursue life there. Who ever said the grass was greener on the other side really needs to speak to me. I chose to return because it was where I felt comfortable and where I should better prepare myself before I try something new again.

Maybe I wasn’t mentally prepared to face a new world away from my family but I know I’ll face my fears again.
This is the choice I made as a person. I am free to choose my path and how I want to live my life. Mistakes are continuously made and risks are terrifying but that is exactly how a person becomes a person. I am a person and I’m still trying to get the hang of it but I intend to become a great one.

I hope you do too.

© Asha Cuthbert

1 comment:

  1. asha, must truly say, that was insightful as fu...

    but if that was an academic assessment, you will need to proof-read your work or get an editor, very meticulous grammar mistakes that could have cost you a few marks, but otherwise...very interesting; to have picked your mind over a subject i hold close to my heart.
    As a chinese in australia, i face several distinctions between myself and the perceived aesthetic of an "australian". it does, however, help that australia is more multicultural than hk, and with that being said, i would gladly escort you if you were to find your way down here.