write something | image

if you've watched my video

'My Vision Board'

you'll know that I've made a pact with myself to be more creative

to write more

to DO more.

shit, 

I think I may be watching too many Casey Neistat vlogs...

today/night i want to talk about self image.

i don't think i'm going to come to any sort of conclusion at the end of this post

but i just really want to write something.

so

like most people i think i'm pretty self conscious.

and it differs depending on the situation.

sometimes i can not give a f*ck about any image

but then sometimes i need to comb my hair, take of my glasses and slab some eyebrows on

before i head downstairs to the supermarket.

i remember when i had a crush and we would skype

and before i was ready to turn on my camera to chat

i would whip out my hair straightener, fix my fringe, adjust proper desktop lighting

to hopefully give my makeup less, sleep less teenage complexion a fighting chance.

even for youtube videos,

before i hit record i contemplate 

MAKEUP OR NO MAKEUP

CAN I BE BOTHERED TODAY

?

usually, i can't.

lol

so what the hell am i talking about?

okkok,

i think i'm trying to say is that

i have days when i don't feel like i look my best

 ...

....

like right now

☟

but i embrace days like this.

not giving a rats asssssss.

feels good to be all mucky,

a comb? whats that?

wash my face? why?

dark circles? never looked better.

it's like if i ever got a text from someone asking

' hey baby, what you doing? ;) '

i think it would go down something like this:

hey! 

nothing much, 

just chilling at home, updating my blog.

sup?

cool. i'm good. what you wearing? ;)

my lazy homer shirt, boxers. 

glasses too and i haven't washed my hair in awhile lol

oh... um... okay... 

:)

then um, what are you not wearing? ;)

you mean a bra? yeah fuck that thing.

best part of being home is that i don't have to wear one.

do you know how uncomfortable they are?

so jealous of guys with man boobies 

cos they don't need the extra support of a bra.

if you ever come across a bra,

i highly suggest you try one on sometime.

- user is offline -

hello?

this blog got weird too fast too soon.

one

An hour or maybe two passed. 

After dropping many hints to Jennah that she was overstaying her welcome, Jennah finally bid her farewells. 

It wasn't that she didn't like Jennah. Jennah can be great fun. There are just some people in the world that she would prefer to implement a 'less is more' quality control during meet ups.

There was always a limit to how much she could withstand when it came to friends and the relationship that comes with it. Every now and again she would look back at how much her priorities have changed since she was younger. Friendship used to be number one, even above family. Not the least bit shocking as most self loathing teenagers probably felt the same way.

But not anymore. That self loathing teenager has since rejoiced at her freedom away from her old classroom and those mandatory friendships required to complete group projects with.

She felt that she had grown into a society-approved, government-tolerated, seemingly well rounded, emotionally healthy (stable), functioning adult that was completely okay with being by herself.

One is a good number.

Yes yes yes, friendship is great in small doses. Lovely, fragile glass tubes of rainbow coloured butterflies and glitter on a good day. 

Too much of it then it's all over the brim, spilling onto your hands and splattering onto your favourite shirt. All the while having to reassure the rainbow coloured butterfly that it's okay, you never liked the shirt anyway and you'd love to meet up next Tuesday for dinner. 

*

chapter seven

-

chapter six

non stick frying pan

chapter five

book case

chapter four

my precious

chapter three

xoxo

chapter two

no pieces

chapter one

new bay-boo

selfies

I've often wondered why the internet took so long to come up

with an official name for taking pictures of yourself.

^selfie above was taken in....2005? 2006? 2007?

ah, simpler times.

I'm all for selfies.

(obviously)

I don't mind a bad quality, bad angled, bad filtered selfie.

we grow and we learn how to improve the image we want the world to see us in.

but if you're still taking awfully structured selfies in your 20s,

you need to check yourself.

I love going through my old pictures,

it's like a time capsule.

!!! a selfie evolution !!!

you get to see how your style has changed over the years.

it's hilarious at how cringe worthy your old poses used to be

and that you should sigh out a breathe of relief to know that

you don't do those poses anymore.

phew.

I sometimes get fooled by myself...

In my younger selfie days,

I was yet familiar with the concept of makeup

and there lack of...

I compensated my poor lighting and complexion

with a crap load of photoshop.

no shame admitting it now... that i'm 23....

....

..

...

duplicate layer? lasso tool? gaussian blur? soft light?

I could photoshop my selfies with my eyes closed.

I don't think I wanted the approval of the anonymous,

I think I wanted the approval of myself.

That I wanted to be/look like someone I would accept.

 I still needed time to grow into my own skin.

makeup by the best Moe @ https://instagram.com/moe__lo

I don't photoshop anymore,

cos I leave it to the pros on shoots.

poor souls who have to endure photoshopping my unfit, untoned body.

sorry :D

selfies?

I just pick good lighting and a good filter.

I don't make exaggerated faces unless the makeup on me is dramatic.

I don't shame anyone who chooses to take pictures of themselves,

just make it good.

like everything in life,

put some effort into it,

make it something you're not ashamed of.

*

side note,

i've decided not to 'share' or update my social platforms when i type a new blog.

no point forcing my blog down people's throats when they cbf to read it...

or judge how they dislike the way i format my blogs.

yes sometimes i don't want to capitalise or punctuate correctly,

this is my blog and i'll format whatever the f* I wAnt In IT.

so hello to you :)

if you still regularily check my blog

or if you check on me once in awhile

without me informing.

:))

a double chinned smiley for you!

x

[A]

diznee

this is one of the creepiest pictures.

but 

I AM SO EXCITED TO GO TO DISNEYWORLD FOR MY BIRTHDAY THIS YEAR!

AAAAAHHHHHHH

I want to do a disney giveaway for people who read my blogs,

but i'll talk about it more in October ^_^

neewaaay....

I feel that I should blog more.

I mean I used to when I had xanga

I would type about anything.

I want to do that now.

Sadly, not in Chinese.

Therefore losing a lot of my previous target audience. 

sorry </3

聽日見。