for the girls / part. dos

adolescence

pubescence

juvenescence

growing up
.



helloooo ladies,
this time I want to take you back,
way back.
waaaaaaaaaaaaay
back.
to bring you to how this girl
became this 23 year old girl.
So if you've been making,
what seems like,
mistakes.

Don't worry,
I probably made them too.

You wore something completely horrid
in public?
That's fine,
I still do.

I know
it doesn't seem like a very christmasy sort of blog
but I'm sick.
I keep taking pills every 4 hours that make me drowsy.
and in a way, it is almost 2015.
a great time to reflect on the past,
to take a peek into the future
and share embarrassing ancient photos of me
to you all.

Let me start you off easy.
I wasn't always like this (see pictures below)
like I knew what I was wearing?

HA!

Let you in a little secret.
The outfit I'm wearing in the first picture
was sponsored, and I had to return it.

In the Alexander Wang event pictures,
I went around Hong Kong scrambling through affordable shops,
two hours before the event might I add,
looking for a decent outfit that would say
"it doesn't look H&M but it's definitely not a McQueen"
It was from Zara.
The heels on the other hand
were in fact from H&M.

Sweating in a public toilet,
in the disabled persons cubicle
plastering on layers of makeup
trying to make my 10 minute deadline to the event.

Moving along.
We've established that I was and still am a rookie.
But the journey of scraped knees and fashion mishaps
 is a much interesting story to tell.

          

Internet,

meet pubescent Asha.

13 y/o, 14 y/o, 16 y/o

 The first thing I dealt with as a major

appearance change was my eye sight.

Away with the glasses, in with contact lenses!

A life saviour. 

No more sweat dripping summers

with my glasses slowly slipping off my nose.

Then, my parents helped me deal with my teeth.

Here's me looking like I succeed academically.

Which I didn't.

It was an award for being No.1 in my whole grade 

in our English exam.

Every year.

Awkward.

On the subject of school,

my 23 year old self misses it.

But I know if I were given the chance to go back,

I wouldn't.

Because the experience I had was irreplaceable.

I wouldn't do anything differently.

No test I would have actually studied for.

No friend I would have unmet.

No class I would have not slept.

public study rooms we never took seriously.

no studying was really ever accomplished.

Shocking that is,

I was ever part of the computer class though.

I even CHOSE this class VOLUNTARILY.

It was either that or art class.

And we both know,

I knew nothing about art.

But then again,

I knew nothing about computers.

Binary what?

10 boys 5 girls.

clearly,

I made the right choice.

Now,

you know how far back I'm going

when these moments were worth a picture.

Wait

No pictures with my face to prove that I was a confused teenager

with fashion issues and severe teenage personality complex?!

BEHOLD!

My love for Liverpool FC

especially toward Fernando Torres

before HEBROKEMYHEART

MAY HE FOREVER

ROT IN FOOTBALLHELLLLLLLLLLLLL

Stevie G baby, it's all you now ♥

Why I/we thought this was a good idea for a picture,

I'll never know.

Oh 

and this one 

↓

The picture above is a picture

of me and one of my students

who I taught at a tutorial center.

Teaching English is always more fun with a 11 year old.

a 17 year old girl with a steady pay check 

still needs her girls,

and a favourite shirt which one of her best girl has too.

Sadly,

the innocent age of sober kareoke 

and sober anything really

came to a stop.

drunken alcoholic antics ensued.

by the way,

can you tell I'm wearing 

the same shirt in the two pictures above

as well as the on the left picture below?

I really loved that shirt.

I didn't even know how to put my own makeup on.

so drunk,

sooo drunk.

Needless to say

I don't remember much from those nights.

The next chapter of my life -

I went to England for a year.

here's a picture of costa in the background

to prove I was there.

↑

Did I mention the shirt?

Alcohol man,

it doesn't make you,

it just breaks you.

It was fine the first few months,

yet the appeal of having mindless fun

inevitably grew cold.

physically

my liver couldn't take it.

and to be honest,

even mentally

I couldn't take it.

Picture on left -

Yes, I have one of those embarrassing chav-esque pictures

with a bottle to my lips

like I was so cool.

second of all,

DO YOU EVEN SEE WHAT I'M WEARING?

I had this thing, 

this "style",

a theory

if you will - 

That after I turned 18,

I didn't need to compensate with dressing

older than I actually was.

If my ID said I was legal,

why bother dressing up?

I preferred being un-stylishly comfortable.

It is a choice I have never regretted.

I already conformed to drinking alcohol with the masses,

leave me and my fashion choices alone.

Whilst in England,

bored,

I had already started my youtube channel,

so what else was there to do?

I dyed my hair red.

on the other side of things,

I absolutely loved my flatmates/host family.

I didn't need any alcohol around them,

everything was so simple and sober.

I remember all the good times.

outside of bournemouth

these two were also life saviours,

a good healthy balance of alcohol and friendship

with a pinch of harry potter fandom.

And till this day,

I think we all need friends like that.

People who you don't require any other substance

to keep things interesting.

So effortless.

✈

Eventually,

I went home.

Back to Hong Kong.

Who was I kidding?

I couldn't stay away.

Fashion wise,

nothing changed.

Already 19 and still I chose to wear

a black t shirt with an orange skull on it.

with white shorts,

just in case it wasn't bad enough.

Only gone a year,

my girls were having babies!

Speaking as a 19 year old girl,

to another 19 year old girl,

who makes the big, life changing decision

to become a mother at 19.

I truly admire you.

I don't care how you got pregnant,

you might have been caught in the moment,

you might have planned it.

despite reasons,

I admire you for choosing to become a mother so soon.

The sacrifices and the responsibility

still frighten me at 23.

You gave birth to a human being.

holy crap,

500 bad ass life points to you.

She trusted me with her new born son,

I think that says a lot about how I had matured.

I was 20 when this ↓ picture was taken,

not much had changed.

maybe a tad wiser,

less alcohol,

better t shirt choices.

obviously.

So yeah,

that's basically it.

It's almost another year,

and I'm still growing.

And so are you.

You're probably wearing the wrong stuff now,

but you'll look back and see how much you've improved.

You're learning.

There really are no mistakes when you look back.

Because it brought you to where you are now.

And I think,

it's somewhere you should be.

2014  October - Grand Canyon by Caro Pak

*

previous chapter

for the girls / part uno