D2

change.

by the time you hit your 20s,

expect a lot of subtle changes.

i read something on tumblr about growing up - 

as you grow up, you'll come across people who will say

"hey, i think you've changed."

and you might pause to think,

"hey, maybe i have..."

but really,

you haven't.

BOOM.

because no one really changes,

not the fundamental bits inside of us.

as we grow, our personalities

our opinions, our thoughts, our characteristics

grow with us.

amplified.

we're now more confident in showing it to the world.

no holding back.

so why

why god why

do they say that dreaded sentence?

'i think you've changed.'

because

your growing

is perceived as changing

to the outside world.

so to them you must say - 

take it or leave it.

who are they?

they aren't with you in the dark of night,

when you're alone to your thoughts,

most of the time,

they weren't there when you made hard decisions,

moral decisions, life changing decisions.

it's always been

just you.

so this is basically the message i want to share for today,

you are who you are,

you do your best to change what you know are the bad parts of you,

but at the end of the day,

there will always be parts of you that not everyone can accept.

so to hell with 'em.

and my utmost favourite
quote from the movie 'her'

you see what i mean?

and this applies not only to romantic relationships

but to all relationships you encounter along the way.

wow,

my daily blogs are becoming intense.

can ya take it

can ya

caaaannn yaaaaahhhh

?

x

[A]

D1

hello all,

I know how terrible I am with keeping up my blog.

I do, I really do.

I want to set a challenge for myself,

to blog everyday for a whole week.

6th May - 12th May

to write about anything,

random thoughts,

opinions

(and we all know I have a lot of those),

and much more.

for today,

I'd like to share my concerns.

as most of you know I've gone back to teaching english part time.

to be honest,

I'm not sure what my real motives were.

money? 

maybe. helps after all.

boredom?

hardly.

lost?

pretty much.

and about modelling,

I have my busy days,

my horribly no-job, 

desperately-waiting-for-a-casting days.

people are so curious about how much I earn.

all I can say is that just because I get a big job once,

a have had months where I have NO jobs at all.

So all the money I made from the big job,

needs to be spread out over the next few months to make rent.

so yeah, maybe teaching english again

was just a way to calm my nervous, money anxious 23 year old self

for some sort of financial security.

we all get those days.

hmm,

where am I even going with this blog?

no clue.

see you tomorrow

x

[A]

times

times when it gets so dark in your head

that you feel like running a red light

to see what happens

let the fates decide.

times when you have to keep the darkness in your head subtle

so no one thinks you’re a tad bit crazier

than the rest of us

let the darkness subside.

times when you lay awake

body shattered yet it stays one form

mind on crack due to the side effects

of stress of life of everything of yourself

let the nights rewind.




-
[a]