D5.0

oh heeeeyyy

thought i forgot about you

didn't ya?

;)

i told you i've been busy!

actually pretty surprised i got 4 consecutive days going...

so here i pick up where i left off.

so i want to talk about writing,

why am i making myself write daily blogs?

it's not to solely produce content

but to force me to be more aware of the world around me.

so since i have to write,

i need to be insightful.

i need to look around

to discover and notice the details of life.

but why force myself to do this?

why doesn't... i mean shouldn't it come naturally?

because our senses have been numbed by technology and social media.

other people are doing the noticing and discovering for us

so all that is left for us to do is

absorb then forget in a millisecond 

and

scroll

on

.

'naturally' / 'natural' is no longer an instinct, a habit.

in this world it has to be forced.

and i say,

force it.

notice strangers around you,

question who/what/why they are who/what/why they are.

notice social situations around you,

how/what/why does it make you feel?

notice everything.

think about it.

don't just blink and scroll on.

x

[A]

D4

almost at the end of our 1 week daily blogging spree.

time really does go by fast when you're in your 20s.....

wifi isn't working at home so I have to settle for my iphone and 3g connection. 

edited my video for this week but can't upload it due to the previously mentioned unfortunate incident... NO WIFI.

so lets quickly talk about 'age' before i pass out into the sweet oblivion that is sleeping. 

i can't deny that growing older scares me. It really does. I do my best to not let it effect me but it creeps up on you occasionally... you know? I will be completely honest here and confess that when I turned 23 last year, I had a pathetically dramatic breakdown. I hid under the sheets the night before and cried myself to sleep. I even cancelled a dinner date I had just because I didn't feel like pretending to be okay with this change.
I couldn't. I wouldn't and I didn't.
 HAAHHAHALMAO ROFLWTF ?! 

I am seriously NOT kidding. I really don't know what triggered the flow of emotions. I was just so depressed and acknowledging it depressed me even more. Maybe it was because I didn't organise a party to celebrate like I usually did, so everything was dull and there was nothing to look forward to. 

Maybe. Maybe. 

Was it because I felt like I expected to have accomplished so much more by the time I turned 23? 

Maybe. Maybe.

No point, no use layering disappointment and pressure onto each other. 

Therefore, I am doing my best to handle my days, day by day. 

Breakdown and cry if you must, but shortly after you better pick up the pieces, get your sh*t together and deal with it like the boss you are.

i think that's a good enough blog for today which also makes up for yesterdays incompleteness. 

Good morning, goodnight.

X

[A]

ps. AHH!! i turn 24 in 5 months! AAAHHHH!! *breathe* *inward screaming* *breathe*

D3

hey guys,

you have no idea how bleedin' tired i've been.

yesterday was bad enough,

had castings from 

kwun tong > chai wan > lai king

and if you're from hong kong

you know how ridiculous that traveling course is.

needless to say i was shattered.

today

my castings went from cheung sha wan > chai wan

yay

i hate buses, mtrs and everything that involves

leaving the house.

one highlight of my day is this picture :

i refrain from talking too much smack about it

as it is an actual official picture

but...

JUST LOOK AT IT.

how can you not laugh?

i've had plenty experience with awkward photoshopping

and this goes into that folder.

it just makes me so happy

^_^

i mean COME ON

look at that lil' chipmunk nosey woseeeyy

i also need to finish up my youtube video for tomorrow/sunday.

24HOURS A DAY IS NOTENOUGH

apologies that this blog wasn't as educational

or the least bit insightful as the rest.

i am just so os osso ossoso so s..o...

tiirered..

...

..

x

[A]

D2

change.

by the time you hit your 20s,

expect a lot of subtle changes.

i read something on tumblr about growing up - 

as you grow up, you'll come across people who will say

"hey, i think you've changed."

and you might pause to think,

"hey, maybe i have..."

but really,

you haven't.

BOOM.

because no one really changes,

not the fundamental bits inside of us.

as we grow, our personalities

our opinions, our thoughts, our characteristics

grow with us.

amplified.

we're now more confident in showing it to the world.

no holding back.

so why

why god why

do they say that dreaded sentence?

'i think you've changed.'

because

your growing

is perceived as changing

to the outside world.

so to them you must say - 

take it or leave it.

who are they?

they aren't with you in the dark of night,

when you're alone to your thoughts,

most of the time,

they weren't there when you made hard decisions,

moral decisions, life changing decisions.

it's always been

just you.

so this is basically the message i want to share for today,

you are who you are,

you do your best to change what you know are the bad parts of you,

but at the end of the day,

there will always be parts of you that not everyone can accept.

so to hell with 'em.

and my utmost favourite
quote from the movie 'her'

you see what i mean?

and this applies not only to romantic relationships

but to all relationships you encounter along the way.

wow,

my daily blogs are becoming intense.

can ya take it

can ya

caaaannn yaaaaahhhh

?

x

[A]

D1

hello all,

I know how terrible I am with keeping up my blog.

I do, I really do.

I want to set a challenge for myself,

to blog everyday for a whole week.

6th May - 12th May

to write about anything,

random thoughts,

opinions

(and we all know I have a lot of those),

and much more.

for today,

I'd like to share my concerns.

as most of you know I've gone back to teaching english part time.

to be honest,

I'm not sure what my real motives were.

money? 

maybe. helps after all.

boredom?

hardly.

lost?

pretty much.

and about modelling,

I have my busy days,

my horribly no-job, 

desperately-waiting-for-a-casting days.

people are so curious about how much I earn.

all I can say is that just because I get a big job once,

a have had months where I have NO jobs at all.

So all the money I made from the big job,

needs to be spread out over the next few months to make rent.

so yeah, maybe teaching english again

was just a way to calm my nervous, money anxious 23 year old self

for some sort of financial security.

we all get those days.

hmm,

where am I even going with this blog?

no clue.

see you tomorrow

x

[A]