the nonstick frying pan

There it lay, soaking in a bath of oil and soap.


Then the door buzzer made an unattractive noise.

Who the hell could that be?

Giving the pan one last disapproving stare, she made her way to the front door and buzzed back.

"Hi, who is it?"

"It's Jennah. Let me in."


Of course it was Jennah. Who else would have the audacity to invite themselves over at such an hour? Jennah that's who. She probably brought her takeaway breakfast with her to eat here because notifying her would be host of her arrival during breakfast would be too much to ask, so best bring your own.

She unlocked the door ahead of time so it wouldn't disrupt Jennah's imminent waltz through her doorway and walked back into the kitchen. Since Jennah never ever warns her of her visits, she never ever greeted her at the door. Hovering over the sink, she took the spatula off its hook and whatever condiments she needed. Still hesitant of the oily, soapy, slippery pan drowning in its own muck, she went to the almost empty fridge and gazed down at her two remaining eggs. The last two eggs she'll have till her next visit to the shops. Better not screw up that pancake.

"Hey! Pancakes? Again? Don't you ever have something simple, like cereal?"

"That's a lot of questions for ten in the morning."

She took a quick glance of what Jennah had bought for her breakfast.

"McDonalds? Again? Don't you ever go somewhere different, like Starbucks?"

"I'd have you know that I order a different breakfast meal every time and they actually make a better cup of coffee than Starbucks ever will."

She rolled her eyes and nodded in false agreement.

"You know, I feel bad for always coming up unannounced. Here, allow me." Jennah scurried to the sink and picked up the pan with her bare hands. Jennah seemed familiar with what she was doing and what kind of host would take away the freewill of a guest? She turned her back to pick up a plate piled up in a box by the counter. When all of a sudden she heard the heartbreaking scratching sound of wire and metal. Springing to her toes, she leaned over Jennah to see her scrubbing her only nonstick pan with those wire scrunchies.

"Noooooooo!" She whimpered without any notion of stopping Jennah and her heartless scrubbing.

"What? What?"

"Have you never washed a nonstick pan before? You're not suppose to scratch them with metal or wire!"

"As a matter of fact, I really haven't."

"What? So does your apartment just have poorly scratched pans? Cooking must be hell. Especially when you do the dishes."

"Aw, honey. I don't do chores." Jennah mentions as she rinses off the now clean but scarred pan and passes it.

"You don't do chores?"

"Yeah, man. I've always had help come over three times a week. Such a lifesaver. I'll share you her contact, no problem."

"Nah, that's fine. I like doing my own dishes."

Having help around the house would be great. A complete privilege. But that wasn't her. She did try once. She had hired a lovely woman called Glenda to come over on a Wednesday, but she was so ashamed of how messy the apartment was that she had tidied it up herself before Glenda even arrived. She called Glenda on Tuesday to cancel and that she was very, very sorry for any inconvenience caused.


chapter six

chapter five

chapter four
chapter three
chapter two

chapter one

pains me to rate it

in the words of cara delevingne :
"cindersmella my ass."

I think I went into the cinema expecting a movie not so... child like?
There are so many Disney movies that appeal to all of us, despite our age differences
but I just feel that Cinderella the movie, isn't one of them.
As many of you know, I am a HARDCORE Disney fan and that I enjoy many movies
of many genres. By now, you guys must at least believe my movie taste has some credibility.
So here is my review on Disney's newest remake - Cinderella 

I gave it a 5/10 on IMDB, and I was surprised it had a 7.8 average!
My first opinion is that I feel that if they were so set out on recreating a classic, 
they could have done a bit more, there were so many scenes that dragged on.
It's like they had to fill up time to make it a presentable time span for people to spend money on.
There was obviously a huge lack of plot to barely hit the 1 hour mark...
The dancing dragged... when her dress changes into a ball gown it dragged...
so many unnecessary twirling and smiling. 

Lily James' acting was okay I guess, didn't see much into it, nor did I feel much of it.
She does capture and portray the innocence factor quite well (in a good way?)
However I am positive of this true fact : Cate Blanchett saves the movie.


She is so deliciously evil as the stepmother. 
Luckily for the movie, she was the only one keeping me entertained.
A mid 1800s 'Cruella De Vil' if you will. 
There was something so beautifully flawed in her character -  scarred by her past, threatened by her present and endangered by her future.
She was so malicious and cold hearted, yet at the same time you saw a glimmer of sadness in her own eyes that she tries to hide and discard because she's the type of woman who refuses to show any emotion that hinted in weakness of her own vulnerability.
I feeelllltttt for her, not that kid up in the attic singing Lavender's Blue to her mice friends.

Which on a side note I was so pissed off at because I was so expectant to hear Cinderella singing 
'A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes" in the movie and not dilly dilly my arse...
Ugh, why didn't she????

Watching scenes of her the stepmother were so intriguing that I wanted to e'mail Disney and be like..."Hey! Why don't you focus on making Disney films about the backstory of your classic villains than wasting good money on remaking films that were completely fine in the first place!?"

I mean, Maleficent was fun to watch.

 It's not the best Disney film but at least it was new.
A new twist, a new angle, a completely new story.
You didn't know what to expect, you didn't know why she is the way she is.
I honestly think Disney Villains have so much to tell and it is their time to tell it.
Cinderella's mother was kind so she was kind, Cinderella had a loving home so she was oh so loving.
blah blahblahblahhh
But what about stepmother? Was she beaten as a child? Who took the magic out of her life?
and I quote - 
'Evil queens are the princesses that were never saved.'

here is a list of the other things that bugged me:
                                          - Helena Bohem Carter as the fairy godmother 
                      had strangely off-putting teeth.
                                             - I'd rather they have her in a Bellatrix Lestrange 
                               costume than forcefully glam her up.
                                 - I think they wanted her to be the quirky 
                                                                   Johnny Depp of the movie but that effect was not achieved.

At one point during the movie, I turned to my partner and said the follow:
"Is it me, or does the cringe-esque acting/script/scenes remind you of 50 Shades of Grey?"

It just felt that bad... what has become of me?
I actually compared a Disney movie to 50 Shades of Horrible...

Conclusion is this
 I think Disney should leave their princess remakes alone 
and focus on making high quality villain backstories.

I will just have to NOT hold my breath for the remake of 'Beauty & The Beast" starring Emma Watson due to hit cinemas in 2017.
There will be no singing, Gaston will be fabulously barbaric with no backstory, Belle with a strong British accent will be the nerd of the village and Beast will be sulking in his magical castle till the movie ends and everyone lives happily ever after except Gaston because he falls off the roof to his demise.
*spoiler alert*

whoops, too late.