The young & the hopeless

12 days till 21

Had my regular stroll down the lanes of HMV the other day and decided to pick out a few more birthday presents for myself. 

Since I was 17, I always wanted to buy the whole album set of Simple Plan and Good Charlotte but back then I was teaching English, making $100HKD an hour didn't seem worth spending on a few CDs. Four years later, now my present, I had no more excuses not to buy them. It was about time to reflect on the past 10 years of my life. And to be honest, not much has changed since I was 12.

These bands were and still are my best friends. They were right there with me throughout the countless of pathetic breakups, pointless crushes and teenage angst disasters. Awake at 3 in the morning, chin resting on my knees as I bawled out the tears and screamed into a pillow as Joel and Pierre would serenade me to sleep.

God, you should have seen me at Simple Plan's concert here in Hong Kong back in January. (or maybe you should be glad you didn't) It was BRUTAL. I got to AsiaExpo at 7am and waiting till 9pm, got to the first row and cried my eyes out to Pierre, Jeff & David (cos they were the only 3 who would go to the right side of the stage where I was) And I locked my eyes to theirs as they sang out Perfect and Welcome To My Life to the millions that were crying beside me and behind me. It's been 10 years of waiting for them to come to Hong Kong so I wanted them to know how much their songs meant to me. As mascara accompanied by snot and tears streamed down my cheeks, Pierre pointed at me, gave me a wink and smiled.

Oh, the life of a 20 year old fangirl.  

Ridiculous teenage memories, back when everything was blown out of proportion. Like the time when my straightener broke and I took a day off school, refusing to go in "looking like this". Or even that time when every girl thought cutting was cool so they would show and brag about the worst of cuts. Some would carve their ex lovers name, hoping he would feel the pain she was feeling. Some cut so bad you couldn't see the colour of her skin. Of course, this girl was smart. She did it on her thigh so no one would see. And yet she still voluntarily lifted up her skirt to show us how truly hurt she was by this guy she dated for 3 months. 

I'm pretty sure all the girls who went through that stage of life have grown out of it. I hope so.
However, I'm still very much in touch with these two bands who prevented me to do anything more stupid. 

Guardians who aren't aware of my existence. 



21st countdown & a penny board

Bought myself my 21st birthday, birthday present. It seems like my subconscious is trying to hint something here. "Asha, you might be turning 21 but you go ahead and buy that toy looking board and you go scrape your knee. Get a few bruises! YOLO."

No, I don't really say yolo. I never say yolo.  

Was also reunited with family friends over the weekend. Parents were thrilled, awkward at first for us the young ones but the 3 of us got there in the end. A more than enjoyable night to say the least. The brother was, so you may say, was my womb bff's. Our mothers were inseparable and conveniently preggers around the same time. She of course, became my godmother. I'm 2 months older, and I guess me and him were inseparable for the first few years of our lives. Of course, none of my proper friendships ever lasted, so this was no exception. His family left Hong Kong and started their lives in Australia permanently. It's been nearly 10 to 15 years since I last saw any of them. 

We remember some strange chocolate milk & seaweed obsession. That they had a huge TV set, and he always, ALWAYS made me cry. I've had a couple of childhood buds who have totally no recollection of my existence. When I would talk about "the good ol' days", possibly swimming naked in their paddling pool, they'd give me an empty stare and I could just barely hear them say hiss through their eyes, "Why are you so obsessed with me?"

So I was more relieved than I was thrilled that someone finally shared my memory. That it wasn't just some only child's fantasy of having friends and having memories, she did not really have.

So I got a trip down memory lane. Oh, the joy of being 3 again. 

"Friendship" is a serious issue to me, I'm 21 and I haven't found that one person that I would call, message, skype everyday just to update or rant to. It's become so ridiculously important to me that I have even started to panic about who would be my maid of honor. YES I AM THAT LAME. Yeah sure, loads of potential mates that have been through so much crap with me, and are my dearest dearest. But it's not supposed to be that way. You don't just line them all up in front of you, put your hand over your eyes, do a twirl & point. It's supposed to be a no brainer, easy peasy, not even a question sort of situation. 

Ugh, turning 21. 


In the words of Yellowcard

"They say you don't grow up you just grow old
it's safe to say I haven't done both

So Many people close to me cut me down
This is supposed to be a bad luck town
I jumped, I fell, I hit the ground,
But here I am alive"